Knights on the Hellmouth
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: YAHF Xander's costume choice may have had some lasting effects, as someone steps out of the shadows to have a little word with him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own neither BtVS nor any other popular media company nor their properties.**

Corwin rubbed his temples and forced away his confusion and dizziness as he rose to his feet and took stock of his situation. He appeared to be on Earth, modern day, and someone had either led or trumped in a number of shadow spawn as well as did something to lay the touch of the Logrus upon the town. He checked and found he was dressed more for court than battle in blue tabard and burgundy cape, but thankfully carrying his sword Grayswandir with its Pattern etched blade.

A groan and a whimper from the ground brought his attention to a young woman, scarcely more than a girl, dressed in white with her dark hair woven into buns on the sides of her head. A snarling horned creature attacked, and he backhanded it away before helping her to her feet. "Are you alright, milady?" he asked courteously, ignoring the chaos around them.

"My head feels like a rancor kicked it," she complained as she leaned on him.

"I know not what a rancor is, but considering the number of strange creatures about, that is a distinct possibility."

She opened her eyes and looked around her in confusion. "What's going on? Where are we?"

"I was wondering that myself," he admitted. "Forgive my poor manners, I am Prince Corwin of Amber."

"Princess Leia of Alderaan, though I much prefer the title of Senator, but please just call me Leia or Miss Organa if you find that too informal."

Something large and green roared and charged at them, but Leia threw up a hand and the creature was flung away, though the effort staggered her.

"I see you have a modicum of talent in sorcery," he remarked as he looked around for anything that carried an air of familiarity.

"I have training in how to use the Force, but it's not magic," she disagreed. "There are scientific principles behind every Force skill."

Corwin chuckled. "Magic, Sorcery, The Force. The name changes, but its nature remains the same; a way of altering reality through the application of will."

"I never thought of it that way," she said. "There is some truth in that."

A red haired woman in a short skirt ran up to them, passing through various obstacles as if they, or rather she, didn't exist. "Xander, Dawn!"

The two exchanged confused glances.

"Who?" Corwin asked.

The young woman groaned. "Oh no, it got you too!"

"Got us too?" Leia asked.

"OK, listen," the young woman ordered earnestly. "You are not who you think you are."

Leia blinked and shook her head. "That makes little sense, a person is who they think they are, that is a basic tenant of self."

"I think therefore I am," Corwin explained. "Can be expanded into 'as I think of myself, so shall I be'."

"The truth stripped of riddles," Leia said. "I think I like you, my brother has a habit of answering me in complicated riddles."

"I have some small knowledge of the base mysteries," Corwin admitted. "More than likely, you were being trained in how to discover the answers for yourself, rather than what the answers were."

"Everyone turned into their costume," Willow said bluntly, not wanting to get drawn into a deep philosophical debate. "Most of the monsters running around are children who dressed up for Halloween."

"Something must be done," Leia said resolutely. "This stinks of the Dark side, but then this entire area feels like it's seeped in it."

"I know it by the term Logrus or Chaos, but yes I can feel it too," Corwin agreed.

Leia closed her eyes and reached out with her senses, shuddering at the oily feeling of the air. "The center of the darkness is that way," she said, pointing towards Sunnydale High.

"Yes, but can you find the anchor point for the spell, which is a lot closer?" Corwin asked, sensing the threads of magic leading in a different direction.

"We should find Buffy," Willow said.

"Can you find the anchor point?" Leia asked. "I'm afraid the darkness clouds my vision too much."

"Using Grayswandir as a focus," Corwin said, patting his sword. "I should be able to. I can already sense it's close by."

"We need to get Buffy first," Willow insisted. "She's your older sister, and our best friend."

"I have a sister?" Leia asked curiously.

"Yeah, and she'd be a big help," Willow promised.

Corwin shrugged at Leia's questioning glance, having no opinion on the topic.

A scream rang out and Willow shouted, "Buffy!" and ran towards it.

"That doesn't sound like a big help," Leia remarked dryly as they jogged after her.

"Family rarely is," Corwin agreed, amused.

Before they could catch up with her, they rounded a corner and found themselves facing a group of nearly two dozen armored warriors. The majority wore white ceramic full plate including helm, however there were a few in red and one in solid black.

"Father," she said, dread lacing her voice. "B-But, he reformed and died."

"Stay strong," Corwin commanded. "We are likely to face many we know, if the tale we were told is true."

Leia took a deep breath and slowly released it, regaining her composure. "You're right," she said, taking what appeared to be a flashlight off her belt and pushing a button on it with her thumb, igniting a three foot blade of emerald light. "Stay behind me."

Corwin tried not to grin, pleased with her attitude change and amused by her trying to protect him.

"Jedi," the tall black armored figure rasped out. "Open fire!"

Corwin was surprised by the enemy's use of energy blasters, but he was even more shocked by Leia's actions as she reflected back every blast that would've hit them using her blade of light.

* * *

Angel checked Buffy's house, but found it empty. He was contemplating where to go next when he heard a feminine scream. "Cordelia," he muttered as he spotted her before breaking into a run.

Cordelia Chase ran pretty well for a girl wearing a skintight black cat outfit, and she somehow found the breath to scream as well. Of course, some credit should be given to the faux werewolf chasing her, as he provided excellent motivation.

"Ra-awk!" the werewolf gagged as Angel clotheslined him and quickly kicked him in the temple, knocking the costumed monster unconscious.

Cordelia came to a stop as she looked back and saw that Angel had taken down the creature trying to kill her and he hadn't even broken a sweat. She paused and various options were weighed in her mind below conscious thought, comparing Angel to Xander, both of which had saved her life. In the end there was no question, Angel was a lot closer to her social status than Xander would ever be. "Angel!" Cordelia squealed, throwing herself into his arms. "I was so scared!"

* * *

Armored figures were scattered about like leaves after a storm. Only three figures remained standing.

Vader stood imperiously, left hand outstretched holding Corwin in place as he dueled Leia with just his right hand. "For a Jedi, you show some skill," he admitted with grudging admiration.

"I've only been training for a year and a half," Leia replied as she redoubled her efforts, hoping to distract Vader enough to free Corwin. "Give me another year, and I'll show you skill."

"I find that highly unlikely," Vader said, a quick Force shove sending her flying into the side of a building. "The Jedi council would never have allowed one as old as you to begin training."

Leia wiped blood from the corner of her mouth and held out a hand to summon her lightsaber to her. "The Council was wiped out long ago, father."

"Father?" Vader asked shocked. He could feel the truth of her words reverberating through the Force. "But, the Jedi killed my wife and unborn child!"

Corwin managed to take a step forward, leaving a three inch deep footprint in the asphalt before Vader clenched his fist and redoubled the pressure on him.

"Children, she had twins," Leia said, calming herself and mustering her strength for another attack.

"You have a sister?" Vader asked.

"Brother," she corrected him.

"I have a son?!" Vader released Corwin who stumbled, not expecting the sudden change, as Vader extinguished his lightsaber.

Leia frowned. "What, so having a son is more important than having a daughter?"

"No, no!" Vader winced inside his mask, the lie obvious even to those without Force powers. "A small amount," he admitted. "Sons carry on the family name, and as a father I would get to teach him to be a man. That doesn't mean I'd love a daughter any less, just that a girl would be more the mother's responsibility to mold into a proper young woman."

"OK," Leia said, deactivating her lightsaber. "Well, Luke is the one training me and the head of the new Jedi Order. He's changed a lot of the rules."

"I...had no idea," Vader admitted quietly. "But, shouldn't you be about eight?"

"Try twenty-eight," Leia replied. "A number of people have become various versions of us from different places and times according to a 'ghost' we met. In my time, you died protecting Luke and destroying the Emperor."

"And Padme?" he asked as softly as his mechanical voice box would allow.

"Died shortly after giving birth, according to the records I saw."

"I see," Vader said, falling silent, save for the sound of his respiration.

"We should go," Corwin said. "We have to end the cause of this...rupture before more people are harmed."

Vader's gaze suddenly snapped to Corwin, the weight of it far stronger than the power of the Force he'd used on him just moments before. "What are your intentions towards my daughter?!"

* * *

"Sounds like complete chaos out there," Spike said wistfully.

"All of the characters have stepped out of their books and are wandering about," Dru said with a giggle.

"Like the Cat in the Hat?" a minion asked.

Spike rolled his eyes, but Dru laughed and replied. "Exactly, but a six foot tall feline is no pussy, and he likes to bury dead things."

"That's one big cat," another minion agreed.

"We could just avoid him," Spike suggested.

"Then, the Father will find you and rip off all your limbs with his mind," Dru said. "Be a good boy for mummy, and there'll be pie."

"I do like your pie," Spike admitted with a leer, "Mummy."

* * *

"We just met," Corwin repeated. "When this spell ends, we won't even be in the same universe."

"And yet I still sense your interest," Vader said dryly.

"Father," Leia moaned, not having expected this sort of response from one of the most feared Dark Lords of the Sith.

"I find her admirable," Corwin admitted. "If I recall anything after the spell ends, I may seek her out."

"From another universe?!" Leia asked in surprise.

"That is a small difficulty to overcome for one such as I," Corwin admitted. "I thought I might spend a decade or two in your company and see if anything develops between us."

"A decade or two?" Leia asked. "Most couples I know court for a year or two at most before marriage."

"You need at least half a decade before you can even begin to say you know someone," he disagreed. "Lust rushes about, love waits patiently," he quoted.

"A sensible attitude," Vader agreed.

"At 28, regardless of current body, five years is more than enough time to marry. No, date and get to know one another for three years, and engage for two before marrying is a much more reasonable timescale."

"That's all in the future," Corwin pointed out. "For now, let's see about quelling the chaos and restoring order."

"A goal even the Empire would agree with," Vader agreed. "I will rouse my...troops and restore order with minimal casualties while you two get to the heart of the problem."

"That would be helpful," Leia said quietly.

Vader stopped and looked at his daughter. "There is much that separates us," he admitted, turning and rousing the downed troopers. "I am proud of you," he said, not looking in her direction.

Leia nodded and she and Corwin left, the awkward empathic connection she had with her father fading with distance.

"It's nice to have a parent's approval, even if you don't approve of them," Corwin noted.

Before Leia could comment, the red-headed returned. "Where have you guys been?! It doesn't matter, I've convinced Buffy to hide. Come on!" The two jogged after the spirit who led them to a dark alley where muffled curses could be heard. "Buffy!" Willow screeched in horror.

A dark haired young woman in a multilayered medieval monstrosity of a dress was being held down by two men who were attempting to molest her. "I think I found something!" one of the men exclaimed excitedly as he fumbled about with her skirts. "Nah, it's just another bloody layer!" he cursed.

"Fuck this!" the other man said, climbing off her. "Let's just use her mouth."

Corwin drew his sword, and the silvery blade began to glow, circuit-like etchings on the surface of the blade twinkling in the dark alley, but before he could do anything, Leia threw out her hand, sending the two men flying. Seeing the three, the lady struggled to her feet and threw herself at Corwin as the ruffians fled.

"Ah kind sir, please protect me!" she begged.

"It's OK, milady, we're here now. The spirit guided us right to you," Corwin said, trying to comfort her.

"You have truck with spirits?" She shrank back.

"Not as such," he assured her, "but, I would be remiss if I did not listen to one trying to make up for her sins in life."

"The sins of a harlot must be great indeed," she replied wide-eyed.

Willow forced herself not to growl. "Your sister, Dawn-" she began before she was interrupted.

"Sister Dawn?" Buffy said, looking at Dawn and suddenly smiling. "Ah, a sister! Bless me sister, but it's good to see clergy on a night like this."

"Blessings upon you," Leia said, not feeling like arguing.

"The source of the chaos is quite close by," Corwin said, his eyes glowing silver to match his blade.

"Witchcraft!" Buffy whimpered.

"He's being guided by a higher power," Leia told Buffy.

"Truly?" Buffy said in wonder.

"Truly," Leia assured her. "He is seeing the source of the mischief so that we might end it."

"As you say sister," Buffy said, calming down.

* * *

"I'm sure Buffy can handle it," Cordelia assured Angel as she coaxed him into her car.

"I should still check on her," Angel said weakly.

"She handled the snake demon at that frat party just fine," Cordelia assured him. "This is a lot easier."

Angel frowned at the mention of the frat party. "Yeah, you're probably right," he decided.

"Where's your place?" Cordelia asked brightly.

* * *

"It's in there," Corwin said, pointing to the door of Ethan's shop with his sword.

"That's where we bought our costumes," Willow said.

Corwin tried the door and found it locked.

"Maybe there's a back door," Willow suggested.

Corwin stepped back and kicked the door, which came apart like it was composed of gingerbread.

"The front way works too, I guess," Willow said, following them into the costume shop.

"You can't just barge in here," Ethan tried to bluff.

"I think you'll find I can," Corwin said, blade in hand.

Leia waved a hand in front of Ethan's face, causing his eyes to lose focus. "You wish to tell us how to end this."

"I wish to tell you how to end this," Ethan agreed before shaking his head and blinking. "No, I don't!"

Corwin drew his sword. "The ill humors that caused you to do this, no doubt settle in the appendages farthest from the heart. All I have to do is remove the appendage responsible and you'll feel like a new man. Don't worry, I've had medical training, so I shouldn't have to remove more than two before locating the right one."

"Statue in the back room!" Ethan blurted out, wide-eyed.

Corwin's eyes glowed silver for a moment. "So it is," he agreed.

* * *

"You must do a lot of reading," Cordelia noted as she ran a finger along a bookshelf.

"It helps pass the time," Angel agreed.

Cordelia noted the number of leather-bound classics and silently blessed her mother for the boring tutor she'd been forced to deal with until she could 'discuss the classics intelligently like a girl of her class and breeding'. "The complete works of Dickens are a must if you want to understand the social issues of his time, but why would you have Mellville? His tale may be called a classic, but it's really nothing more than a thinly disguised cry for help from someone with an oedipal complex so huge that it makes me blush to think about."

Angel perked up, surprised at finding the girl he'd mentally dismissed as shallow actually had depth to her and had chosen such an interesting topic to discuss.

* * *

Leia watched as Corwin laid his hands upon the bust he referred to as Dworkin and felt… Dawn slowly surface like the sun shining through the early morning mists on Endor. And, just like the mists, she felt herself slowly vanish. A momentary thought ran through the minds of the two as they watched Corwin and Leia found herself smashing her lips against his as oblivion claimed her.

Buffy ripped the brown wig off her head as the memories of the last couple of hours hit her and Willow vanished. She turned and saw Dawn had a firm grip on Xander's head and was attempting to extract his tonsils. Being a good sister, she gave her a ten count before prying her loose. A stunned Xander just blinked and stood there.

"I think you broke him," Buffy said. "And, how did you bust you lip?"

"A fight with fath- I mean Vader," Dawn said, taking one of Xander's hands.

"And, molesting Xander?" Buffy asked.

"I've always liked him, and Leia liked Corwin. A last kiss seemed in order," Dawn said, memories and knowledge from Leia giving her the courage to defend her actions.

"Xander?" Buffy asked.

"I taste blood," Xander said, recovering.

"Split lip," Dawn told him. "I didn't have time to brush."

"Oh," he said quietly his head filled with centuries of memories trying to find their place.

"I notice you're still holding her hand," Buffy said.

"I've often held Dawn's hand," Xander said.

"Not after she's kissed you."

"True, but it seems more appropriate to hold her hand after having kissed her."

"What are you really asking about?" Dawn asked.

"Wondering about your relationship now," Buffy replied.

"Depends on what I can talk him into," Dawn admitted.

"You are a few years away from dating age," Xander pointed out.

"How many?" Dawn demanded.

"Three," he replied as he considered the matter. "You'd have to be at least sixteen before I would feel right dating you."

"Fifteen is more common in California," she pointed out.

"With our age difference, sixteen is a lot more reasonable," he corrected.

"I'm not likely to put up with you dating other girls in that time," Dawn said bluntly.

"I'm in no rush," Xander assured her. "I can wait."

"I can wait too," Dawn said, blushing as she recalled Corwin's earlier quote.

Buffy nodded, happy with their not dating for a couple of years as she was pretty sure that Dawn's crush would fade in a year at most, and Xander was a guy, so he'd be dating someone by then, hopefully Willow.

"Let's round up the kids so we don't get expelled."

 **AN: Typing by Lucillia!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Halloween Aftermath: Star Light, Star Bright**

"Greetings, My Master," Darth Vader said as he entered Palpatine's throne room on the Death Star.

"I sense much turmoil in you," the Emperor noted curiously.

"It is nothing, Master," Vader said, turning away and walking over to lean on the rail that surrounded the open shaft that lead directly to the tiny artificial sun that powered the Death Star. "I'm just feeling a sense of… melancholy and wondering how past events have led to this future."

The emperor quickly switched personas. He hadn't expected to see Vader's anger weaken at this point, so it looked like it was time to dust off the wise old mentor role and help his pupil see that the whole universe was out to get them and only power and control could change that.

The Emperor leaned on the railing next to Vader. "Tell me what is troubling you, my apprentice."

"Well it's-" Vader began, when his cyborg augmented body suddenly moved completely independent of his thoughts and grabbed the emperor by the back of his robe and yanked upwards, simultaneously giving the Emperor a wedgie and throwing him into the shaft.

Vader leaned back to avoid the force lightning that the doomed Emperor had flung at him. Chuckling he walked over to the throne and sat down. "The king is dead, long live the king," he said.

His mind was awhirl with complex plans and new ways of using the technology they had to do things that were considered impossible at the moment.

For instance he could clone himself body parts to replace the ones he had lost, rather than relying on cybernetic limbs. Of course those cybernetic limbs and five minutes of programming had just allowed him to kill the emperor, but power armor would allow him to have his cake and eat it too in this case.

He nodded to himself as he a decided a plan of action. He'd build himself powered armor, while having the Empire develop regenerative cloning techniques, so he could reclaim his humanity without losing his combat capabilities.

After that… he'd reclaim his children, kick Obi Wan in the balls, and re-establish the Jedi himself.

Vader nodded, his future looked bright indeed and it was all thanks to… Andrew, whose encyclopedic knowledge of science fiction and Star Wars in particular let him make changes that even the force could not foresee clearly.

He was definitely going to need therapy for the endless reams of Vader/Luke fanfiction the boy had written though.

 **Typing by: Bailey Matutine**


	3. Chapter 3

**Halloween Aftermath: A New Dawn**

"I get archaic French and you get a brain upgrade," Buffy complained as she looked at her sister's report card. "It's not fair."

"You dressed to impress a centuries old corpse while I dressed to a impress a modern boy, just a few years older than me," Dawn replied. "You chose to be an idiot twice over."

Buffy glared at Dawn and Joyce spotted the impending explosion from across the room where she was making a cup of coffee and quickly intervened. "Girls it's way too early for this. What are you arguing about now?"

"Dawn wants to date Xander," Buffy said, seeing a way to get back at her sister and nip things in the bud.

"Dear," Joyce said, trying to figure out a way to break things to her gently. "No dating outside your school. It's one of my rules and since Xander is not in Jr. High…"

"Buffy smirked, thinking she'd won this round.

Dawn handed her report card to her mother. "They'd like me to skip a few grades."

Joyce examined Dawn's report card with a slowly growing smile on her face.

"Xander taught me some mental tricks and explained to me why I should get good grades," Dawn lied.

"Xander gets lousy grades," Buffy complained.

"Xander is attending and passing honor classes while putting in little to no effort because his parents aren't going to pay for college and Snyder is sabotaging his transcripts since he's your friend," Dawn said, playing on her guilt.

"They want you to advance to high school?" Joyce asked.

"They suggested college, but the school psychologist said that I should try a year or two of high school first to help me acclimatize to the higher pressure and prevent early burnout. Normally I'd disagree, but his arguments were very well reasoned and he had data to back up all his assertions," Dawn replied.

"This is just a trick so you can date Xander!" Buffy accused.

"I actually am this intelligent," Dawn replied. "And Xander said he doesn't feel comfortable dating anyone under sixteen, so I have to settle for being his friend until then."

"That's a lot more mature than I expected of him," Joyce admitted.

"He likes to play the jester and has lousy parents and poor friends who have sabotaged his self-esteem," Dawn replied. "I'm trying to talk him into not hiding his light under a bushel. I think I've convinced him too!"

"He's way too old for you!" Buffy complained, not wanting to lose the argument.

"Yes, we've already agreed on that," Dawn said, having to fall back on Leia's Jedi training to keep her temper, because Buffy really pushed her buttons.

"When you're sixteen, he'll still be too old for you, because he'll be almost twenty," Buffy pointed out, wanting to get her mom on her side for a quick win.

"Speaking of ages," Dawn said, barely keeping herself from snapping at Buffy. "Aren't you trying to get into the pants of a guy named Angel who is at least thirty?"

"Angel does not look thirty!" Buffy exclaimed, before she could stop herself.

"Is he the one who got you into that frat party last week?" Dawn asked innocently.

"Buffy?" Joyce asked in a tone that promised severe consequences if she didn't like the answers.

 **Half an hour later**

"Thanks to you I'm grounded!" Buffy snapped as she walked Dawn to her bus stop. "If I'm grounded I'm not out slaying, which means people die."

"You'll sneak out like you always do," Dawn replied unconcerned. "And you spend a lot more time and effort trying to get into a corpse's pants than you do being the slayer, so if you actually listened to mom and didn't just lie to her face, I just increased the amount of time you'll actually spend slaying."

Buffy got in the last word as she walked away from Dawn at the bus stop, "Enjoy Fondren High School."

Dawn glared at her departing sister. "I wish I had a brother rather than a sister."

 **Typing by Bailey Matutine**


	4. Chapter 4

**Halloween Aftermath: All in one Knight**

"Good Morning, Alexander," a voice said out of the blue.

Xander leapt out of bed and took cover on the far side below the frame, his hand diving between the mattress and the box spring to grab a knife.

"Relax, it's just me, Corwin," the voice said, amused.

"I was almost sure I dreamt you," Xander said slowly standing up, finding himself much less surprised than he expected to be.

"I'm an Amberite," Corwin said, "it's definitely the other way around."

"Your ego still leaves me in awe," Xander said honestly.

"As well it should," Corwin agreed with a little amusement.

"So… what brings you by?" Xander asked, dropping the knife on his bed and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Well, either you were a dream caused by the rather spicy chicken dish I had last night or Dworkin caused it for his own reasons, in either case it aroused my curiosity enough to walk here and see what changes had been wrought," Corwin explained.

"Do you remember everything?" Xander asked.

"Of course," Corwin replied.

"Then why did you call me Alexander?" the teen asked.

"Because it's your name, not the ridiculous moniker you go by," Corwin said.

Xander frowned and looked at Corwin for a moment as he marshaled his thoughts before saying, "The name you are given is random and meaningless symbols, it's the life you live that gives meaning to them. The concept of a true name depends upon the self's identification with the meaning it gives to those symbols."

"That's correct," Corwin agreed readily.

"Thus Xander is more my name than Alexander is, since it's my `true name´," he finished.

"And do you toss your true name out for everyone to know and make use of?" Corwin asked like he was talking to a small child.

"Fuck no!" Xander exploded before getting a horrified expression on his face. "Except that I do."

"Which has left you open to quite a few malign influences, all of them in fact," Corwin said dryly.

"So, Alexander to the general public and Xander to my friends," Xander decided.

"At the very least," Corwin agreed.

"Yeah," Xander said slowly as he thought things through. "I'm going to have to do more than that. Maybe a tattoo..."

"You seem to have retained enough to handle that on your own," Corwin decided. "Get cleaned up, I'll meet you in the backyard to see how much you have physically retained."

"Joy," Xander said, knowing it was going to hurt.

After Xander had left to shower Corwin picked up the picture frame off the nightstand next to Xander's bed. A thumb gently brushed across Willow's face as he recalled his fallen sister while staring at the face of her analogue.

 **Fifteen minutes later...**

"OK, I'm up and dressed," Xander said, wearing a dirty white T-shirt and jeans with the knees worn through.

"Interesting manner of dress," Corwin noted.

"I noticed the two swords you're carrying," Xander said, "that means sword fighting, which means I'm going to be bleeding and you're going to cut up any clothes I'm wearing."

"I didn't expect you to be this perceptive," Corwin admitted.

"Well you made one hell of an impression on me, while I probably didn't affect you a whole lot, so naturally I know you better than you know me, regardless of your skill in reading people, which will let you catch up in the space of a day or two," Xander said.

"What else have you noticed?" Corwin asked.

"You aren't impressed with me and normally wouldn't bother with any of this except you feel slightly responsible, so you are treating me like a distant relative who you have just run across; you'll ensure I'll have the bare minimum I need to survive and then dismiss me as being of no importance unless I either find my way to Amber or you find a use for me in one of your plots," Xander said bluntly.

Corwin took a sword off his back and tossed it to Xander, who buckled it on and drew it from its scabbard only to stare in disbelief.

"Grayswandir!" Xander exclaimed in shock.

"Not quite," Corwin replied with a grin, before holding up a tarot card for Xander to look at.

"The fool," Xander said, seeing the hand drawn card and noting a skilled artist had drawn him in the fool's place but instead of stepping off a cliff he was about to leap into the Hellmouth.

"You dressed as I was when I was younger, it restored quite a few memories that I'd thought lost. Now, with this additional explanation, what would you say?" the former self-crowned king of Amber asked, clearly amused.

"You're keeping a light contact with me through a trump, probably gambling on being able to treat me like an analogue after last nights' events, so by keeping the connection open you'll enhance what I gained from you last night," Xander said noting his uncharacteristic exposition. "You aren't doing me a favor in hopes of future repayment, you are paying back a favor that you consider owed."

"You'll note that the sword you hold isn't Grayswandir," Corwin said, not bothering to confirm anything Xander had guessed, "but it should be close enough for our purposes. You have my assistance until first blood has been drawn... on me. Shall we begin?"

Xander nodded and brought up his sword.

Corwin grinned like a wolf spotting a rabbit.

 **Four hours later...**

Corwin looked at the blood running down his hand from a cut along his forearm. "Very well done. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever pull it together for a minute there."

Xander collapsed to the grass, his clothes in tatters, countless cuts marring his frame. "Thanks," he groaned.

Corwin let the blood pool in his hand for a moment before speaking a word of power. The cut on his arm vanished as if it had never been, taking the blood with it. Drawing out the trump he'd made of Xander he cut the connection.

Xander whimpered as he felt all his aches and pains, which had lightened for a moment, multiply once more.

Corwin smiled and dropped the card on Xander's blood coated chest. "I doubt we'll meet again young prince, but I think you have skills and strength enough to make your own way in the world now."

"Don't think I don't appreciate what you've done for me, but I believe I'm going to spend the next little while cursing your name and ancestry while I lay here bleeding," Xander gasped out.

Corwin laughed. "It was nice meeting you, Xander. Have a good life and treat your princess well. I believe I'll take a walk and see if I can find one of my own."

Xander watched Corwin stroll off and grinned even as he did curse Corwin and his whole family for being megalomaniacal, sociopaths, with superiority complexes.

Lacking the strength to move and running out of adjectives for the moment, Xander examined the sword Corwin had given him. The Pattern that shimmered on the silver blade was different from what he remembered. As his eyes followed its loops and curves, he felt his pain fade away and his vision sharpen. No, it wasn't the Pattern of Amber or even Corwin's Pattern, it was a Pattern he'd never seen before, but it looked familiar somehow. Letting go of the Pattern he climbed to his feet and headed for the shower. He needed to get to school. Even if he had missed half the day, his friends were probably worried about him.

 **Sunnydale High Library**

Buffy was shifting uncomfortably in her seat while a red faced Willow was looking through a stack of books, as Xander entered the library.

"I'm afraid I haven't a clue how to reverse it," Giles admitted, setting the book he was reading down.

"Guys," Buffy said anxiously, drawing their attention to Xander.

"Is something going on?" Xander asked curiously as he took in the scene.

"No!" Buffy exclaimed, shifting in her seat. "Everything's fine!"

"Everything's normal!" Willow exclaimed, hiding her face behind a thick leather tome.

"Yes, quite right," Giles agreed, polishing his glasses with some force.

Xander almost fell into the chair exhausted, knocking a couple of books off the table. With a groan he leaned down and picked them up.

"We're researching for the sake of researching," Buffy said with a plastic smile on her face that wouldn't have fooled a three year old.

Xander sighed and shook his head. "I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but Buffy..."

"Yeah?" she asked guiltily.

"You have to sit with your legs further apart or you'll crush your balls," he said bluntly.

 **Typing by: Fasor**


	5. Chapter 5

**Halloween Aftermath: Schooled!**

"I can't believe you got into a fight on your first day here!" the principal said shaking her head. "I was warned that your sister was a troublemaker, but your record showed no signs of it, however the three girls in the infirmary speak for themselves!"

"Self defense is self defense, what I can't believe is that I wasn't here an hour before I was assaulted," Dawn said bluntly, much to her mother's horror.

"Those three girls say something completely different and their stories are backed up by several eyewitnesses," the principal said firmly glaring at her over the top of her glasses. "Not to mention the fact that their parents are well known and respected members of the community, while—"

"I had a tape recorder running during the entire altercation," Dawn said cheerfully, interrupting what she'd been about about to say.

"What?" the principal asked.

"I was recording an idea I had on a micro recorder when those three 'upstanding citizens' and their friends decided to surround me and knock my books out of my hands," Dawn said calmly. "I also noted the location of a video camera that was nearby," Dawn said.

"You broke the arm of one of the girls and there is still the matter of the switchblade," the principal rallied.

"The switchblade you tried to make me pick up so my fingerprints would be on it?" Dawn asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't buy your innocent act, Mrs. Johnson. I wasn't here an hour before one of your model students pulled a knife on me, attempted to bully me, and tried to re-enact a prison shower scene. I have audio, the security company has video and I believe at this point I have enough evidence to call the police and have them charged with sexual assault on a minor and armed assault with you as an accomplice." Dawn pulled out a micro-recorder and pushed play letting them hear what did indeed sound like a re-enactment of a b-grade prison rape scene from a movie that should have Ilsa in the title.

Joyce leveled a glare at the principal that made her fear for her life.

"I-I swear I had no idea!" she exclaimed.

"Here is what's going to happen," Dawn said. "I will provide you with a copy of the audio, you will provide me with a copy of the video. You will play it for the girls' parents, and if any of them so much as looks in my direction with less than a friendly smile, I will destroy them. Now, start the paperwork transferring me to Sunnydale High please, because I don't think I like it here," Dawn finished with a flourish.

"Y-yes, of course, Miss Summers," the principal stuttered out before rushing to follow her orders.

 **Ten minutes later**

Joyce started the car and smoothly pulled away from the curb. "Dear?"

"Yes, mom?" Dawn replied.

"You handled that beautifully," Joyce said. "Are you sure you still want to attend high school?"

"I'm not going to let some bullies interfere in my education, besides I'll have Xander to protect me at Sunnydale," Dawn said cheerfully.

"It didn't look like you needed any protection and I don't recall you taking any martial arts classes," Joyce told her youngest daughter.

"Me and Xander watched a lot of Kung-Fu movies and they were easy enough to copy. You saw us arguing about which moves were real and which ones were fake, before we'd try to and copy the movements, often while getting pillows thrown at us," Dawn said.

"What all has Xander taught you?" Joyce asked, trying to sound casual.

Dawn snickered. "Mom, subtle you aint," she said with a southern drawl. "Sadly, Xander says I'm much too young for a lot of what I do want him to teach me. I've gotten exactly one kiss from him and he had to be nearly concussed and taken by surprise for that!"

"I just want to make sure he's not taking advantage of you," Joyce said.

"I—" Dawn almost said 'I wish' but decided her mother probably wouldn't appreciate hearing that, even or especially if it were true and quickly changed it to, "can't see Xander ever behaving that way. He jokes around a lot and is very free with the hugs, but he's already said that with the age gap between us I'd need to be at least sixteen before he'd consider dating me."

"I'm glad to hear it," Joyce said, happy that her high opinion of Xander still held true.

"He's definitely one tough nut to crack," Dawn said with a sigh. "And even if it takes me a year or two to wear him down, at least I can cuddle with him to my heart's content in the meantime."

Joyce found herself smiling, the day's unpleasantness forgotten for the moment. "What would you say to an ice cream Sundae?"

"I would hold my spoon aloft and say, 'My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Dawn replied.

Joyce laughed and turned the car towards the ice cream shop. School could wait till after lunch.

 ***0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0***

"You peeked!" Buffy exclaimed.

"I was wondering what you were sitting on since you looked so uncomfortable," Xander replied. "Imagine my surprise when I saw it was your own nuts."

"You are taking this way too calmly," Buffy said. "What gives?"

"I just spent the last four hours sparring with someone who wasn't going to stop until I managed to draw blood, and has fought in duels that lasted days." Xander unbuttoned his long sleeved flannel shirt and showed some of the bandages beneath. "Exhaustion and blood loss make it very hard to shock me at the moment."

"Are you OK?" Willow asked, rushing over to examine him.

"I'm fine Wils, he just wanted to see how much I'd retained and make sure I was able to handle myself," Xander told her as she checked his bandages shocked speechless at the sheer number of them.

"Retained?" Giles asked concerned.

"I dressed as a magical prince and planeswalker," Xander explained. "And apparently the connection went both ways, because he remembered everything I'd done. To make sure I could take care of myself he gave me a sword and reinforced my memory and reflexes the quickest way he knew how."

"Where is he now?" Giles asked.

"Off to find Princess Leia," Xander said, stopping Willow from unbuttoning his pants. "She made quite an impression on him, so he's gone off to wander infinity and find her."

"He did, huh?" Buffy asked arching her eyebrow.

"Dawn decided a Jedi trained Princess Leia was much more interesting than the common version who hooked up with Han," Xander said.

"And what do you think?" Buffy asked.

"I think she's right and that you are actually asking a completely different question, which is 'What do I think of Dawn?'."

"And?" Buffy asked giving him a look.

"I think she's a great girl and if she was a few years older I wouldn't mind dating her, however as she is so much younger I think waiting until she's at least sixteen is a much more reasonable view. Now, girl who is fifteen and dating a man who is well over two centuries older than her and can truthfully be called a demon infested corpse, what is your opinion on the matter?" Xander said coldly, refusing to be cowed.

Buffy winced. "That's different, I'm the slayer." She sighed. "Yeah that sounded lame, even to me," she admitted after a couple of seconds.

"You're dating Dawn?" Willow asked, just to be sure he wasn't.

"I'm not willing to date anyone under fifteen and since there is a three and a half nearly four year age difference between us, I told her she'd have to be at least sixteen before I'd consider it," Xander said. "I have no idea why Buffy has a bug up her butt about it."

"Dawn could wear you down a lot quicker than you think," Buffy said. "She is sneaky and relentless!"

"Hey Lucy, I'm home!" Dawn called out as she entered the library.

"Dawn? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"I transferred from Fondren after I was jumped by some bullies," Dawn said.

"Are you alright?" Buffy asked at the same time Xander asked, "What condition are they in?"

"Battered and bruised," Dawn admitted. "One has a broken arm, but she did pull a knife on me. It was awful!" She teared up a bit and Xander immediately opened his arms for her.

"Well you're here now and if anyone gives you any trouble I want you to tell me, alright?" Xander said as he held her and rubbed her back.

"I promise," she agreed with a bright smile. Opening the bag in her hand she brought out a huge ice cream Sundae. "Mom stopped by the ice cream shop but this is way too big for me to eat by myself. Share it with me?"

"I never say no to ice cream," Xander said as Dawn brought out a single plastic spoon and began feeding him, occasionally taking a bite herself.

"He's doomed," Buffy said shaking her head.

Willow didn't reply as she was taking notes on what Dawn was doing to charm Xander. "I could pull that off," she muttered to herself.

"Shouldn't we be researching how to correct the situation with Buffy?" Giles asked.

Buffy froze as she realized, she'd just absently reached down to scratch herself like a guy would. "Yes, yes we should!" she said anxiously.

 **Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	6. Chapter 6

**Halloween After Effects: Warning Shots**

Willow had been showering after gym as normal, she was usually the last one out taking the longest to shower, when she just happened to notice Buffy stiffening and then Buffy...Stiffening! Both of them stared at Buffy's crotch in shock.

Buffy barely kept herself from moaning at the sensations she was receiving from her new add-on. Willow leaned closer and accidentally dripped shampoo on it, then she made the mistake of trying to wipe the shampoo off.

 **A few minutes later...**

Cordelia looked over and saw Willow helping a stumbling towel wrapped Buffy to the bench. "Early visitor?" she asked.

"Completely unexpected," Buffy said looking a bit pale.

"You should go on birth control, it'll help even your periods right out," Cordelia suggested.

"I'll do that," Buffy said as everyone finished up and left for lunch, leaving the two female Scoobs alone.

"Giles," Willow suggested.

"Giles," Buffy agreed, recovering from her most recent shock, relieved to have someone give her directions as her brain was still trying to reboot itself. "Sorry for..." Buffy trailed off.

"Totally my fault!" Willow exclaimed.

"Thanks, I owe you one," Buffy said. "Erm... I mean..."

"I know," Willow said, face as red as her hair.

They both got dressed and Willow couldn't help but stare at Buffy, who was having a hard time tucking _**it**_ into her panties.

"We just took care of you, why are you hard again?!" Buffy demanded, seeing how it bulged under her skirt.

"Wrap your sweater around it," Willow suggested.

Buffy sighed in relief as she saw that the sweater did a decent job of concealing it. "I regret ever doubting guys who said it has a mind of its own!"

"Really?" Willow asked surprised.

"Not an actual brain, but its not listening to me," Buffy explained, "cause I'm telling it to calm down and it's telling me to... nevermind!"

The two were in the hallway when Buffy suddenly laughed.

"What?" Willow asked.

"We were just cleaning it and it went off!" Buffy said before bursting out in laughter once more.

"It's affecting your brain," Willow said wide-eyed. "That's a joke Xander would make!"

"We better hurry!" Buffy said anxiously.

 **During lunch**

"I really should have thought of the ice cream trick," Willow told Buffy quietly as she watched Dawn and Xander.

"We both should have," Buffy agreed. "It's so obvious now that we've seen it."

"Yes," Giles agreed dryly, reminding them he was there. "I believe we have more pressing matters at the moment however."

The two girls blushed and quickly returned to their research.

"So, what's up with them?" Dawn asked from Xander's lap, as she fed him ice cream.

"Buffy grew a pair," Xander replied.

Dawn glanced over at her sister. "She's had those and mom's are way bigger and I'm rapidly gaining ground."

"Dawn!" Buffy hissed.

"Not those," Xander said. "Below the waist."

"Xander!" Buffy growled.

Neither teen seemed to notice her glare.

"Just this morning I was wishing I'd had a brother instead of a sister, since she insists on sticking her nose in my affairs," Dawn recalled.

"A brother would be even worse," Xander assured her.

"If you were my older brother would you object to you dating me?" Dawn asked.

Xander's memories of Corwin's favorite sister flickered through his mind for a second before he pushed them away. "You already know my opinion on the matter."

"Even taking into consideration my additional memories?" Dawn asked.

"If we lived in a different society I would have no problems dating you," Xander told her, "but here and now we have to publicly conform. As a former diplomat and leader you should know that."

"The key word there is 'publicly'," Dawn said with a grin. "What about privately?"

Buffy and Willow exchanged glances, worried that Dawn was already wearing him down.

"I wear my heart on my sleeve," Xander told her. "I am open and honest about who I care for, no subterfuge or hiding. The woman who I date will never have to wonder what I feel for her or doubt that I love her and I would post billboards and put up posters to that effect rather than consider for a second hiding our relationship. Love is not for the faint of heart."

Buffy was almost sure she heard Dawn purr from across the table and the look Willow developed was quite familiar to her, having seen it many times before.

"So the barrier is public opinion and local laws," Dawn said thoughtfully, snuggling into his chest.

"All of which will change in a couple of years, so be patient," Xander counseled.

"I can wait for all the things society frowns on," Dawn replied. "I simply want to do things that would be of a date-like nature, like see a movie with you or eat dinner and get to know one another better. Not necessarily romantically, but as a 'close friends' situation."

"I have no objections to going out with you and doing friend activities," Xander assured her.

Willow was quickly scribbling down notes on Dawn's actions and arguments while Buffy simply shook her head at how quickly Dawn was working her way through Xander's defenses.

"Good," Dawn said, "because I wanted to see the new remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes after school and going alone is no fun."

The doors of the Library slammed open as Snyder entered, his eyes lighting up as he saw Dawn sitting in Xander's lap. "Well Harris, breaking the rules about PDAs-" he began with a sneer.

Feeling Xander stiffen and sensing his worry Dawn glared at Snyder and snapped out, "There is nothing wrong with me sitting in Xander's lap!"

Snyder's eye glazed over. "There is nothing wrong with you sitting in Xander's lap," he dutifully repeated.

"You should go back to your office and catch up on your paperwork," Dawn told him.

"I should go back to my office and catch up on my paperwork," Snyder repeated turning and leaving.

"Well that was like sandblasting a soup cracker," Dawn said after a moment of silence, a bit shocked that she could feel the Force if faintly.

"Can the Force make people grow new body parts?" Buffy asked.

"I'm going to have to train you in the mysteries so you don't go all darkside," Xander told Dawn, ignoring Buffy.

"That's probably a good idea," Dawn agreed, suppressing the urge to grin at getting to spend even more time with Xander and still having a touch of Leia's power.

"Seriously, did you make me grow a penis?!" Buffy demanded.

"If I could do something like that..." Dawn trailed off. "Leia knew about it in theory, but it'd take an expert and at least a month. The most I can do is give you a pimple."

"Too bad," Xander said. "Force healing would come in handy around here."

"That I can do," Dawn assured him, "but Buffy was asking about something completely different. Luke was very good about training Leia in things that would keep her alive, though I am nowhere near her power level."

"Darth was power incarnate and his kids probably weren't that far off," Xander agreed. "I think it's more likely you have a talent for sorcery that is manifesting along the lines of what you have been trained in, rather than you still possessing any of her Force powers."

"How much do you know about magic?" Giles asked Xander curiously, wondering if there was a connection in the latest events, as a spell to make someone 'like' someone could very well cause someone to become similar to another person, rather than having them closer emotionally.

"Corwin knew the basics, preferring sword to sorcery," Xander replied, "but I need a half dozen cleansing ceremonies and some meditation before I would even consider trying the smallest spell after living here my whole life."

Giles nodded, dismissing Xander from consideration as a cause for Buffy's sudden change. "I'll have to ask some friends for a local contact who can help us with magical forensic work. It may be some days before we get a response."

"What do I do in the meantime?" Buffy demanded.

Dawn had to use a good deal of Leia's training to keep a straight face as she told Buffy, "Take it like a man."

 **Typing by: Stephenopolos**


End file.
